Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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