If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
