the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Come on in and take your pants off
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