i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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