David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize