The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
