You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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