Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
