You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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