Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
we're making bets on your personal life
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
