Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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