I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize