I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
