i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
