I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
vagina is talking i cant
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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