don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
