Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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