i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
