don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
