I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
