What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
