question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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