It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I have feelings that need drinking.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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