Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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