I can tuck mytits in my pants
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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