i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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