that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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