i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
