No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
