it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Blood and glitter go together right?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
