YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
