Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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