this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
you would pick up someone in the library
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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