Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
