im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I would ride that face into the sunset
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
