you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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