That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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