this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
