Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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