Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
