Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
