I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
