apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
