Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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