96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
