Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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