Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
