I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize