PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
