She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
