So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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