so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
