Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
farters have to be the big spoon...
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
