You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I love having hate sex.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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