so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
True strength comes from lack of pants
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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