Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
