okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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