Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
