Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize