Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
