I want to have your abortion
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
