i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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