It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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