the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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