just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
