Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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