Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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