your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
