Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
