i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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