I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
