Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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