Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Randomize