YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just saw a hot homeless man
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
